Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Josh Whitesnakes tips for the NACCC

Here is Josh Whitesnakes of mess nyc with tips if you're going to the NACCC.

1. Bring a bike. Even if you don't plan on racing. Last year I gat ran over the week before the NACCC and had cool steel pins holding my arm together until after the CMWC. Cabs and subways suck when everyone else is out riding. Plus, the SEPTA (Philly mass transit) is effin' gross. Upholstered seats and carpeted floors is the worst possible thing you can do to mass transit.

2. Drink Beer. It's cool and refreshing. The more you drink, the cooler you'll look, be, and feel! Everything and everyone is better when they're totally shit-faced. Chances are, you won't have to face these people for another year.

Or don't drink, if that's your preference. No peer pressure here.

3. Bring stuff to trade. People seem to do this less and less. But I like having all sorts of cool stuff from places I've never even been to. That way, when someone's like "Oh wow! You were at _________ in __________?" You can say "Look buddy, I got the T-shirt to prove it."

Don't even think about asking me for my New Jack City shirt or my Star Track shirt.

4. Bring a bag. It will make carrying stuff to trade and beer easier. Chances are you'll want to change your clothes at some point. It also doubles as a pillow if you ever go to sleep.

5. Sleep is for rookies. There will be party going on at all times. Even when most the rest of the world is asleep. You're closest to death in your sleep. Try not to miss a moment.

Personally, I'm getting old, and will likely try to sleep in your hotel room in the late am hours.(If I can sleep in your hotel room, please email

6. Do the main race. It's always a lot of fun, and a lot of people miss out cause they get too wasted to ride. You need to be able to stand up, and being able to ride the bike is helpful too. If the officials can see that you are drunk, then you are too drunk to race, even if they're too drunk to really make that decision. Remember to bring a helmet, or a friend that has head sweat you don't mind sharing.

7. Don't talk about your bike, you gear ratio, or how you clean your drivetrain with your tongue. Most people tire of this type of conversation quickly when they're not talking about their stuff. Here are some other suggested topics of conversation:

-Are you in a band? What type and speed of punk rock or heavy metal do you play?

-Did someone do something stupid at the last alleycat? It's not a messenger event until someone is unconscious. Did they pee themselves? Did anyone draw on them or light them on fire? Do you have photos you'd like to contribute to the website? (email me photos at

-Is there something really cool about where you work? Where's the park with the crackheads? Or the junkies? Where do the kids drink beer in the alley? Ever get busy with a client in the supply locker?

-Oh, you're an artist? Author? Poet-Laureate of Illinois? That's pretty fucking interesting. Maybe you should share that.

8. Be friendly to strangers at that these things. Buy someone you don't know a beer, offer them a hit of whatever, let em watch your mom in the shower. It's a really big family. I've worked in a few cities and this job is a pretty similar experience anywhere. Of course every city has it's own thing, but if you carry packages from one place to another, it's the same job.

9. Bring a towel. You'll want to shower at some point. There will be bike riding and the like, you'll work up a sweat. Time and time again all weekend. You'll smell great, really, please shower, and bring your own towel. Drying off with a dirty t-shirt is self-defeating.

I almost never remember to bring my towel, and I've learned that a lot of messengers only own one. Remember yours. You don't want to use someone else's dirty wet towel after them. Or maybe you do. (If you want to borrow my dirty, wet towel email me at

10. Leave your drama at home. Unless your from Philly, in which case you should put your drama somewhere else for the weekend. This is our annual family reunion, we're here for the same purpose: To get wasted, ride bikes, and try to get laid.

So, Ladies, Gentlemen, here's to the pursuit of happiness, have a great and safe time this weekend.


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