Monday, May 29, 2006

Pervert's Invitation...2nd Day of Triple Crown.

Mike Dee fixes his wheel in Malcom X park in DC

I went down to our Nation's capitol to check out their race scene and stumbled on to the most perverted alleycat race of all. It was the second leg of the Triple Crown, a three day, three city tour with the ghetto streets of Baltimore for the start, then DC and finishing on Memorial Day in Richmond Virgina. DC is a great place to race, wide streets, lots of space to roam, government employees to dodge and tons of cops, who pretty much leave the bikers alone unless there is a protest and they have 8 divisions of bike cops. Yesterday was the perverts invitational, not a race of speed but more of a scavenger hunt with pornographic checkpoints scattered throughout the city. The manifest was made up of two pages, one had the locations and the other held the info on the bonus points. Here we knew we were in for a treat when it said extra points would be awarded for those who had the most porn in their bag and you scored big if you teabaged won of the checkpoint workers. We all met in Malcom X park on the hill and signed in.
People before the Race.
I was just along to video tape the event and thought I would just shoot the start and then ride to the finish. Once I heard that it was meant to be a more slow pace I decided to tag along with one of the riders, just to see how far I could get, while riding in a foreign city and shooting video with one hand. I talked with the winner of the Ghetto Blaster race the previous day in Baltimore. Andrew was a working courier in his hometown and managed to win the race despite racial tensions, paintball attacks and bottles thrown. He said Baltimore was a real bitch, not the usual streets he works in but the outskirts. People wanted to finish that race before dark, but it didn't start till 6:00pm, so that meant hurry.
Dan G helps out Baltimore out-of-towner.

Dan Gordon was DC's local favorite, although he denied it, many out of towners were looking to follow his wheel. Dan had won best out of towner and a phat bag in Baltimore and was happy to be back in DC for this event. Then there was Andy Zalin and Reed who were also DC natives and top contenders to take it all. I followed Mike Dee from NYC and Andrew who won in Baltimore to stick with an out of town posse. Lucky for my slow ass, this was a "slower-take-your-time-and-complete-all-the-checkpoints-in-order," race. I think we hit about every hill in the city on our quest to find these checkpoints. We got lost, a lot and had to ask people for directions constantly.
Hanging out at the Quarry House Checkpoint after bobbing for tampons.

The checkpoints were great. Strip clubs, having to suck a popcicle through the glory hole, bobbing for tampons...yikes and making it with sex toys and Blow up dolls...extra points were awarded for style. All of this was designed to see who was the nasty dirtiest guy and girl in town. We finished all the checkpoints in about 2 hours, close to last, but had a great time. I heard stories that several checkpoint workers were sucessfully Tbaged including a brillant stealth attack by Mike Dee at our last checkpoint. DC knows how to put on a fun race.
3rd place girl

I forget the name of the 3rd place girl, but Kym from NYC got 2nd and Meredith got first.
Kym, second.

Meredith, 1st place girl

For the men Andy Z got 3rd, Dan G was 2nd and Reed was 1st, winning a giant dildo, the "Manhandler" and a Surly track frame. Many of the riders on on to Richmond...Good Luck
Reed wins the Man Handler

More photos at: pics


Post a Comment

<< Home