Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Olympic commitee comes to NYC

So the Olympic committee is being wined and dined tomorrow as they tour our city for hopes that it will win the 2012 bid. What are these people going to be shown? A bunch of undeveloped land sites and lots of power point. "As you can see here in diagram B-98373 this is where the new Jets Stadiu...I mean Olympic stadium will be built...that is if we can win the bid from the MTA and don't get ruined by that greedy MSG." "Pay no attention to the fact that we haven't fixed any of our major roadways since Robert Moses and our public transit vastly limited...like our airport train that goes nowhere and isn't being used." Pay no attention to the fact that ratings and attendance to the recent summer games in Greece was abysmal. Who cares about the Olympics anymore?

We all know the real sporting completion will be the 2005 World Messenger Championships this summer!! Tell the Olympic committee about how great New York treats cyclists.

the New York Press has the right idea and released 88 things the Olympic committee should know. My favorite, for obvious reasons...is Number 6.

Here are the top 10.

Olympics Go Home

compiled by:
Jeff Koyen
Aileen Gallagher
Matt Taibbi
Russ Smith
Michelangelo Signorile
J. R. Taylor
Judy McGuire
Jennifer Merin
Dan Martino
Joshua Cohen
C.J. Sullivan
Paul Krassner
Michael Malone


88 things the International Olympic Committee should know about New York City before making a decision about 2012.

1. We already have an "Olympic Shooting Center" in the Bronx. It's called the Bronx.
2. When the Olympic Village isn't completed on time, we're going to overcharge you to sublet our shitty tenement one-bedroom.
3. They can hide the dirty homeless people from you while you're here visiting, but hiding them for two full weeks during the Games will be nigh on impossible.
4. We already gave the rest of America an excuse to become flag-waving idiots.
5. We've been confusing the Paralympics with the Special Olympics. We're actually applying to bring the latter here.
6. Better get a permit for all those velodrome events. The last time a bunch of bicyclists got together for a ride, the cops arrested them and took away their bikes.
7. Think Munich, writ large.
8. When "9/11" was brought up on every other page in the city's proposal, didn't that set off a few alarms?
9. Construction will displace huge colonies of majestic wharf rats. Ever seen our wharf rats?
10. It's going to cost a fortune to paint the black sprinters orange to keep the police from shooting them.


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