Man with Bike Blog “Doored”, Blog Improved.
By Xristopher j Spider…
Good news, Micheal Green, popular “bike blogger” was doored today, bringing Xris Spider one step closer to his dream of taking over the widely read New York City blog. Xris was “surprised” at the both the news of Michael being Doored by a cab at 1st ave and 39th street, and the ease at which the medicated Mr. Green gave up his password. This couldn’t have come at a better time for Mr. Spider, who was already low on cash after generously bribing a cabbie to suddenly open his car door into Mr. Green. The excited Xris plans to sell advertising on the space popular blog to Hummer, the Palin Campaign, and Jamal Muhammad Ramjamin’s Discount Dooring services.
Police on the scene described Mr. Green as being male, ethnic, and “sort of a dumb ass.” Mr. Green also had nothing but praises for the responding officers who appeared promptly, were courteous, and “somewhat cute.” One of which even rode a mountain bike according to the smitten Mr. Green.
Bellevue Doctors described Mr. Green as unlikely to seen by them anytime soon, noting “He has insurance? Fuck ‘em”. Mr. Green claims nothing is broken, but accepted the advice of the responding firefighters to head to Bellevue hospital after hearing a strange clicking when he extended his arm. Firefighter Jimmy McMason stated, “We sort of ignored a call and let a building burn down tending to this douche bag, so we better make this all seem more serious than it is” adding, “plus the guy doesn’t look like he’s been laid in weeks, maybe this will help.”
Ambulance driver Dave Forte cursed out the poor cabbie, who was just trying to earn a decent living, but praised Mr. Green for wearing a helmet. That is until he recognized Mr Green as the popular NYC bicycle blogger stating, “Aren’t you the guy who handed his bike to a thief who said he wanted to –try it out-?” Mr. Forte then added, “Why bother with a helmet, what are you protecting, the air space?”
This brought a chuckle from Officer Kucharski, who was in the process of giving Mr. Green his personal phone number.
-congratulatory flowers can be sent to
X. Spider, ave C.